my dad ate a cucumber today and he was like “wow this is pretty cold” and then he just slowly put the cucumber down and stared into space for a really long time until he turned to me with wide eyes and quietly said, “oh my god. cool as a cucumber.”
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
- someone at school: what are you listening to?
- me: no one you know or like
what if i was cool